the robots are really coming to take over

this is real email from an honest-to-goodness candidate for governor in the state of utah. as a state delegate i get all kinds of emails from all of the candidates. all i can say is, this guy has my vote:

Message from Charles “Chuck” Smith, Candidate for Governor

Stay tuned for a flow chart. It is on its way. Now for economic development.

The basic materials needed to create wealth are finely scattered over the whole earth giving us many places from which we can build. The only thing that keeps us back from multiplying our wealth many times is a step by step example of how to do it. With the powerful tools of technology we can create this example, first in a virtual world. The virtual tools gives us the ability to cheaply trial and error through to perfection a risk free path. Then we can follow that path to great real success and wealth.

Everyone wants to know how we can increase peoples incomes in the State of Utah. So, here is the step by step overview of what I am already building.

First we start a club and invite all who want to 4 times their income in the next 4 years to join it. The club is free of charge.

In the club each person takes pictures every week of the things they would buy or do if they had 4 times their income. Those pictures are accumulated and made into a high speed movie, one for each week for all to view via the Internet.

From this data of what we want and need, we create robotic systems to produce these goods and services in a virtual world setting.

As the design for robotic manufacturing starts to develop we use engineering software tools to create the details necessary to build these robots in the real world.

As the specifications come from engineering we look for materials to build the robotics. The goal is to acquire all materials through efficient energy and material recycling.

Once we have acquired materials we will build robots using the virtual designs and engineering to control the building process.

With robots in place we will then start producing the goods and services that we want as per the initial picture collection. Club members will get these products and services as payment for their participation in the club. The value of the goods and services for each club member should exceed 4 times their income in the fourth year of club participation.

This is a simple explanation of the steps; the actual doing of this plan will bring out many unforeseen opportunities to expand and multiply our talents. Every step will be looked at with the idea that what we do should be able to be done by others in other parts of the the world so that eventually all peoples in all nations can follow our step by step process to advance there wealth production abilities.

wisconsin, ho!

well, i got accepted to university of wisconsin’s master of urban planning program. although i’m not sure whether i want to actually do it or not, it is very tempting. what could be cooler than wisconsin?

things that i like:

-they have a program that focuses on environmental planning and energy policy and analysis.

-madison is probably way cooler than provo.

-christmas break.

things i’m not so sure about:

-paying lots of money for school.

-not having a job (or should i say not getting a steady paycheck).

A Day in the Life

So, just to fill you in on how awesome grad school is, let me recount the following anecdote, completely unedited, uncensored, and unfiltered. I’m taking a poetry class with the M.F.A.’s here and we’re going to have an end of the year super reading where we all read. So there’s a image whiz Fiction M.F.A. student who always makes really outstanding posters for the readings, and he put together a poster for our reading which features the image you now see at the top of this post. It’s fairly prominent and takes up maybe 1/4 of the total poster space. He’s got bright neon lines coming out of his head and everything. So the poster gets sent to all of us to see what we think and to proof read our names. Two of us had name corrections and then this afternoon I got the following email: “Actually, the more I think about it…Although the poster does not need to be reflective or representational of us as a group (I don’t think it could or even should be), I am hesitant about the use of this image of an older white man because that image could be read as a representation of Poets and Poetry, which it clearly is not, or shouldn’t be. No human face is representational of a group, and further, that image doesn’t reflect the reality that of the seven poets reading, five of us are women. Of course, I don’t think an image of a woman would be more appropriate. I just felt the need to communicate these thoughts, and I hope they are food for thought if nothing else. I DO greatly appreciate the effort put into this poster, and your efforts, Xxxx, in coordinating these readings.”
When I read this, I could tell that one of my fellow students cared deeply about questions of representation, and was sensitive to a longstanding problem within the artistic and academic communities, the diminishment, downplaying, defacing and/or belittling of female authors and voices. In order to show my support I drafted the following email:
hey I just wanted to chime in on Xxxxxx’x point, but from a slightly different angle. I actually was disappointed that the old white man wasn’t white or manly enough. If possible, I’d suggest using an image that is like blindingly white, so white that it’s impossible to look directly at him, so white that his whiteness shrieks power and glory. And it definitely needs to be more manly. So maybe you could photoshop in some chest hair and he could be like holding an ax or something. He could also have like a bloodstained loincloth or something else that suggests both inexhaustible virility and the capacity for tremendous feats of violence and strength. So, that’s all I’ve got, but I’d love the poster to be MORE white and MORE man, if you can do that. I’m sure Xxxx’x [the other male poet in the class] with me, but what does everybody else think?
I’ve yet to get the response from everyone, but I thought Jennejohn should know there’s somebody out there that’s sticking up for him and his kind even in the rarefied air of the university.

For the record…

I just want to say that in utter and complete earnestness, I really enjoyed National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. There is no hint of urbane irony in my voice as I make this statement. I also enjoyed the fact that the girl I took to it totally fell for this “Ice Cream of George Washington” trick that I played on her afterward. That’s all.

And you thought National Treasure 1 was awesome

Nicholas Cage is probably the greatest actor of his generation and seeing National Treasure 2:Book of Secrets last week only confirmed the greatness. The guy can do comedy, drama and action. In the case of National Treasure 2 he did them all in one movie. If you looked awesome up in the dictionary there’d be a picture of Nicholas Cage. I can’t remember the last time i shouted “Yes!” during a movie and pumped my fist in the air. During National Treasure 2 I think i did it 3 times. And it wasn’t just me. The whole theatre was filled with people just loving the ride. No other movie gives you a guy that is willing to kidnap the president to clear the name of his great great great grandfather. No other movie has the balls to tell you an ancient city of Gold is buried deep within Mount Rushmore. If there’s going to be a National Treasure 3 sign me up right now. I’m in. I’m ready for the thrill ride. If you guys do yourselves just one favor this year i would suggest it be watching National Treasure 2. And the movie isn’t just fun. It’s also a history lesson. I now know almost all there is to know about the Lincoln Assassination and i know a lot more about ancient America. All I can say is thanks Nicholas Cage. You did it again.