What I have learned from Freshmen

Hi guys
Grad school is all well and good but the real question is, what have I learned from those I teach? So he are some usefull facts my students have taught my in their homework and quizzes.

1. HW on how fermentation works – “Some times when you turn test tubes upsidedown they produce CO2.” – Man this girl’s skills are being wasted here.

2. Draw a picture of water involved in hydrogen bonding.
H                                                                  H – O – H
/                       another student ->            /

O O                                                              O O – H – O
                                                                         /
                                                                   H – O – H
3. An 18 yr old suposedly wrote this -> “Fermentaion has been a part of human culture for 2000 years. Ancient Egyptians used it in the production of ……”

4. When you put a plant closer to light the light moves faster so the plant can do more photosynth.

New Era Poetry

So one of my coworkers at the library is engaged to a guy that has an internship at the New Era. Apparently, they’re keeping up on all the latest issues that face young people — like energy drinks (which they don’t approve of). Then I learned that you can get $50 if they publish any poem you send in. So we started looking at some of the poetry and figured it wouldn’t be too hard. Here are three samples of my work. I admit they’re a bit rough around the edges, but the important part is the message. Anyway, enjoy. And please feel free to add some of your own work if you’re so inclined. These first two are still untitled —

Oh pioneers!
Oh!
How did you make that amazing trek
across the wilderness without energy-boosting
liquids?
Oh!
I think I know – with liquids of faith and love,
watering the greenest grounds, making the desert blossom like a rose
in my heart.

Some people say energy drinks are cool,
But if you’re to drink them you’ll be a fool.
Instead, try drinking a big gulp of scriptures,
And then, let’s look at some sweet gospel pictures.

So Much To Do
Why don’t you write your autobiography?
(An account of your very own life)
Or study cinematography?
(The art of shooting pictures which are then spliced)
So much to do
So much to see
When you’re not looking at
Pornography!
Let’s get into some cartography!
(The art of making maps)
Or learn some more geography?
(It’s time to fill in those knowledge gaps)
So much to do
So much to see
When you’re not looking at
Pornography!

time travel

Well it’s about time I got some recognition! In ansewer to Jordans comment about me getting a peace rather than physicas prize. Remember, Al Gore and Bono have been up for peace prizes too. They are just giving those things away for anything now a days. This is why I am next going to go back in time to eliminate all peace prizes, I know it will not impact my own time, but it will make me feel better. I would post my time travel theory but I am worried it will break the internet as it is too advaced and emotional for the steel hearted computers we are all so reliant on. Just know all moments in time exists individually and will therefore not have any impact on those proceeding and fallowing them.

Anyways I would like to second the motion that grad school sucks some times as I am trying to wright a conflict proposal with almost no explanation of what is expented in it.

Don’t believe a word that guy says

So, some of you guys might start hearing from Dan and he’ll be talking all crazy, like you can’t understand. He might be trying to tell you how he is so awesome at Mariokart, and that he totally destroyed me last night but that is simply not true. The fact is that I started out that race on Rainbow Road with a spectacular display of force. Not only did I get the super start, but as I went flying down the first hill I (driving as trusty Wario) totally slammed into Jennejohn’s side and he flew right off the course like he had been blindsided by a tornado. I didn’t even flinch. That was pretty much indicative of the entire race. I continued to navigate every corner of the track with the utmost precision. Hitting all the right booster pads and executing flawless power slides around hair-pin turns. Naturally this lead me to the front of the pack where I was unchallenged for the duration of the race. Dan on the other hand, spent most of the race trying not to wet his diaper every time that he flew off the track.

But, as is prone to happen in Mariokart when you are trailing behind the pack (even gay Princess was about to lap him), Dan got a few stars and bullet boosts at the very end of the last lap. Riding this wave of this special treatment, Dan managed to barely squeak an inch of rubber ahead of me at the very instant we crossed the line — just before falling behind and perilously veering off the track again. So clearly I was the cool-headed driver with the consistency and skill necessary to tame the savage Rainbow Road. And Dan is clearly a no good cheater. Keep this in mind when he comes running to you to gloat about his “victory”.