My Best Metal Songs of the Past Two Years or So

These weren’t released within the last 2 years, but I found them within the last 2 years. Try not to poop your pants listening to these and if you don’t listen to them on a decent set of headphones (i.e. not earbuds) or speakers, then I pity you because you’re missing the experience. If you’re listening on a pair of Beats by Dr. Dre headphones, then you paid too much for your headphones.

First up is Dethklok – Go Into the Water

Crunchy and compressed low-tuned guitars, scratchy-screamed vocals, soaring leads, and plenty of double bass drum fill out this choice track. The epic theme of a body transforming into what is basically Aquaman of the Black Lantern Corp pretty much rules.

Black Lantern Aquaman, King of Deathlantis

Next up are two more water-themed metal songs from midwest metal heroes, Mastodon.

Mastodon Blood and Thunder

This song has everything. Radical guitar duet interlude? Check. Epic lyrics based on Captain Ahab hunting the white whale? Check. Arthurian allusions? Check. Practically constant double bass drum with lots of frantic fills? Check. Syncopation? Check. Lots of chicka chicka on the guitar? Yes. Palm Muting? Of course. This song is missing nothing.

Mastodon – Seabeast

Also from the album entitled “Leviathan,” this one slows is down a little bit but still rocks. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT listen to the live version. The verse parts of this song are sung by the lead guitar player and not the regular singer and the dude cannot sing in tune. Also, he cannot be understood. None of that matters though because he plays an acrylic flying v with an aluminum neck.

Playing metal on a metal guitar means you win at life.

There is constant guitar power-chording that makes this song awesome and the regular singer comes in and saves it in the choruses. This song automatically wins for referencing Mr. Queequeg because I don’t think any metal song ever has or ever will again.

Between the Buried and Me – Astral Body

This is technically prog-metal, but it still counts. Though their band name is unfortunate, this song kicks some serious butt. You’ve got non-stop chugging guitar and bass riffs that lead to a call and answer that reminds me for some reason of V’GER from Star Trek the Motion Picture.

Then, you are annihilated with some classic screaming vocals counterpointed by frenetic guitar leads. Shrugging the traditional verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus paradigm, this song goes from an instrumental to a hard hitting scream piece, to a ballad taking us on a space journey best exemplified by the following pictures:

Axe Cop

Borg-Picard-Mufasa


Superman v. Doomsday what?

That’s all for now.

Sweaty Head

I went on a run. Its Arizona so its hot and I came back glistening. I also had a huge blister. So I quickly hop on the computer and google blisters. While I’m sitting there Jacob (naked baby) climbs up behind me and begins to lick the beads of perspiration off the back of my head. He’s laughing and having a great time. His brother Jonathan (in the red) sees the fun that Jacob is having and wants in so he climbs up for a taste. You’ve got to understand that Johnny is an extremely picky eater with very sensitive tastes. He takes a big lick and almost falls over from disgust. He gives me this look that says “Why did I think that would be a good idea and what is wrong with you? He then drops to his knees and starts licking the carpet to get the taste off his tongue. Good times at the Howards.

I have been running a bit lately. Did the Sedona Marathon in February and have my sights set on a 50 miler sometime at the end of the year. I’m hoping for the Grand Teton 50 mile race August 31st. Only problem is we are expecting our 4th at the beginning of August and Rachelle doesn’t think a 17 hour road trip with a 3 week old is a good idea. I’m going to be in Salt Lake on the 27th and 28th anyways think a little trip up to Wyoming would really round out the trip. If I don’t run the race I’ll probably just fly to SLC for my meetings but I’d like to run the race and make it a little vacation so the family can spend the weekend at the grandparents in nearby Idaho.

I need some help with ways to convince her that this is a great idea.